Posted by: donttrustahoe on: May 23, 2009
Listening to: My dad watch the hockey game
Once again, I haven’t written in here in a long time. I have so much to write about.
First off: Drew. I finally realize that I’m completely in love with him…right when he decides to replace our friendship witha new friendship with katie & be completely and utterly mean to me. Remember the first post I wrote? About how I hate when people tell other people what I say to them blahblah? Well that was about Drew. I should’ve learned from that. Because I guess it really is true that all good things come to an end. Is it not okay for me to not have someone to talk to? Because I swear I have no one to talk to at all anymore. I mean, in the sense of my family problems and just normal stuff. I used to talk to Drew EVERY night. Literally, every single night. And for him to just cut off our friendship and replace me like that ALL WHILE my mom was relapsing? I’m not gunna lie, I cried every night about it. About him. About the loss of the only relationship I so wrongly assumed would last until highschool, or maybe even forever. I miss talking on the phone with him about our fucked up families. I miss calling him my bestfriend. I miss crying about my family while on the phone with him or letting him rant to me about his. I miss telling him the new boy I liked every week, and him telling me his opinion. I miss bad-talking everyone in our class; even though I knew we both just needed to get anger out in some form. I miss him. I miss him. Gosh, I FUCKING MISS HIM.
Well, now that I’m in a really good mood to rant I’ll start by telling you something else that has happened sense the last time I wrote. My mother was relapsing, like I said in the paragraph above, and me and my step-sister were the ones to find out. She pulls some shit that shes “sick” every other fucking month. And all it ends up to be is just another way for her to get drugs. Typical. I honestly thought she was actually trying to be a good mom for once. Well look who feels like the idiot now? Me. Of course, always me.
Kyle Dugan has left the building. I know, what a shame. I really am gunna miss the 8th graders. Well, actually, I’ll miss the idea of being little. Of being young. Because next year, will be my last year in Middle School and my last year at Saint Davids. I don’t know where I will be without all the close-nit people I’ve known since I was THREE. Long time? Tell me about it. But I wouldn’t trade the people for anything. They have taught me so much. But, not gunna lie, I am so much more excited for high school than anything. I can’t wait to join the drama club. I can’t wait to branch out and make new friends. I can’t wait for the next 5 years.
So, right now as I sit at M&M’s kitchen table and type very fastly as M&M and Reilly play Junior Disney Monopoly and my Dad watches some obnoxious show on ESPN, I realize that my life could be a lot worse. I could not have ANY family at all. So I will take my dysfunctionalfamily. I could not have a house at all. So I can deal withmy house, even though there isn’t anything wrong with it. I could live in a communist country where it wouldn’t even be a possibility for my dreams to come true. So I will make them come true because I am lucky enough to have the ability TO make them come true.
Things I want to do during high school:
Well, I think this is sufficiently long enough (: I’ll write another soon!
